Yesss! NaNoWriMo, we’re done. We did it. 52,791 words of novel-y goodness written all this month. Yea!

It’s almost over. National Novel Writing Month. Did you do it? Think about it at least? For years I’ve thought about it. Watched a friend try and succeed each November.

And this year…. it’s almost over.  6 more days.

Goal: 50,000 words.

I’m just under 43,000.

It’s going to happen.

I’ve put off even writing this post until now for a reason.  I’ve been too busy confronting all the doubts that go with a big undertaking. Why is it that until a certain point in every book – at LEAST 150 pages in, I still very much doubt I’ll ever finish writing it?  Doubt doesn’t just creep in and whisper, “you’ll never finish, Kelsey.  It stinks. Every word. Or at least, every third word… really….  stinks….” My brand of Doubt yells. And it keeps yelling. Until the pages stack up so high that it’s impossible for me to take it seriously any longer.

I wonder if that point in time – the point at which Doubt shuts up – is negotiable. If I thought it would change once I’d written a book or two – or published a book or two… well. No. It didn’t.  It’s as loud and persistent as ever, and every bit as convincing.

At least this month – November – crazy month for all nanowrimoers – the pages stack up extra fast and that point of Doubt stopping all its yelling… comes that much faster.